我的天

今天的思德课上，我们看了黑泽明的Seven Dreams，实在是太太太令我深思了。

虽然那个简直是个猪的思德老师打断了我们很多，她简直就是个文科的白痴！那个简单的Realplayer是英文版，她却怎么都找不到全屏和左右声道的调节。我不得不想教文科的，起码是在SCAU教语文的是个电脑白痴。她还要因为一些白痴的愿望不断地打断我们看，又叫我们用心去看，却老是打断我们，她好心干坏事啊！要搞就在上课之前搞好，不会就在那时侯多试试，在我们着迷的时候干那些事，简直就是破坏风景。

现在要从那些可恶的生活转到我们要说的“黑泽明”。的确当我听到要在现在这个时候看日本人的电影，实在想马上逃课，但看完以后，发现原来真的有很多值得看的地方，值得我们深思之处。

首先对那部《七个梦》的总体感觉就是恐怖。几乎所有都离不开恐怖的内容，但却十分能调动人的感情。第一个梦是说小孩无意之中进入森林看到狐狸精结婚的情景。那一队狐狸精结婚的队伍真的很恐怖，特别是我们在没有心理准备的时候，突然播起了恐怖的日本音乐，然后就是周围恐怖的环境，接着就是一阵烟雾带来了那个恐怖的队伍。配合音乐，那些“狐狸精”几步一停，然后向左或向右突然转头，对于一个小男孩简直是吓死了，我们也吓个半死，何况是他。然后小男孩躲在树后偷看这一切，突然那队“狐狸精”又突然掉头，似乎看到他了。镜头一转，小男孩回到了家门口，但妈不让他进，因为说他看到了不该看的东西，让他独个儿找狐狸精一死谢罪，还说狐狸精就住在彩虹的尽头。于是故事就结束在被群山包围的一片花海之中，远处是彩虹。实在太壮观了，我们都不得不惊叹，而且大家都为小男孩会不会真去送死而担心，而导演则更为高明，就在这里结束了，留下了，一个萦绕个人心中的悬念。

最令我感动的是说一个二战结束后的故事。如果说刚才说的那个梦是说日本的神话，或者说“物恋”那么这个就是说他们“尚武”。一个长官似的东西正在走着，突然，后面传来一阵脚步声，那个长官吓了一跳，因为来者是一个死人，是已经阵亡的二等兵野口，他问他的长官他是不是真的阵亡了，他不相信他已经真的阵亡了。长官开始很害怕，但他对他说，他是在他怀里咽下最后一口气的。士兵犹豫了半刻，然后说，那么为什么他觉得他回到了家里，尝到了母亲亲手做的好菜？沉默一会儿，长官再次澄清他的确死去了，但士兵却指着远处的一个灯火茅屋说，那就是他的家，他相信他死了，但他的父母不相信他死了，他们还在等着他回家。多么感人的话语，简单但却处处透露出情，这是从一个死人口里说出来的，为了他的国家，为了他的家人，他阵亡了，但他的灵魂还在一直执着着，虽然很讨厌日本的军国主义，但这种思想令人不得不崇敬。长官再次说明，他死了。士兵又沉默了，最后不愿意地转身要走，长官突然把他叫住，对他行了一个严肃的军礼。士兵消失在黑暗之中。但故事还没有结束，从黑暗之处传来更多的脚步声，是一个小分队跑过来了，他们都是已阵亡的死人，但他们的小队长对长官的报告是，小队无人阵亡，请求指示。长官似乎陷入了精神崩溃，他说他的确不应该把他们送上战场送死，但他也在忍受着战俘营的痛苦，虽然他知道他所受的苦远不及他们，他宁愿和他们一同牺牲，而不愿意想现在那样独自活在世上，他再次重申，他们已经死去，然后庄严地向他们行了军礼。很简单，但却在一点点恐怖之中说明了问题，用最直白的方法说明了日本人。

还有一个是说核辐射污染的，简直就是讽刺现在的人们，似乎那些预言就在我们的不远处，时刻在警惕着我们。我看的时候真的有多少害怕，它虽然是虚构的，但我却似乎感觉到了它存在的必然性。实在太恐怖了。

由于时间关系，我们并没有看完7个梦，只看了其中几个。但几个就足够是我对生活产生沉思。我们做错了太多，地球正在被我们所摧毁，我们摧毁的也是我们自己，我们自己的将来，我们自己子孙的命运。同时那中恐怖的日本文化也是令我觉得恐怖的地方，那些传统的音乐，我无论什么时候听，听什么类型，在我的脑子里就只有唯一的反应——恐怖，非常恐怖。比外国的异型和外星人还要恐怖，甚至比杀人狂还要恐怖几分。作为一个文化的外人，我觉得他们对他们的神的感觉除了是敬重之外更多的是害怕，畏惧。神在他们的眼中似乎不是带给他们幸福的，而是当他们犯错的时候惩罚他们的，这样的信念，那些人怎么活？他们的神似乎缺少了上帝和中国诸神的仁慈。不知道这是不是黑泽明特意要表现的，是他对他自己国家民族的见解。真的很独特。

总之，这部电影拍得极端完美，从取景到音乐到对白无一可以挑剔。完全使人着迷，然后引人深思，开始审视生活。

风回路转，回到电脑问题。

不知为什么，eMule怎么都是低ID，难怪妈说怎么都连不上Razorback2服务器。以前我一直是高ID的，不知发生了什么，我从来都没有调教过啊！怎么会自己变成了低ID呢？真搞不懂，唯一的原因只能说长宽的网络封杀eMule，搞得我如此处境，无奈啊！叫我怎么下载？？？

JEA终于没有新消息了。

我应该开始重新审视自己的生活了……

Today, the target computer experiment was the remain things of last week. The situation seemed not bad as the last time, stil remember at that moment i was frightening aboiut the presentation and was in trouble, so I couldn’t do it very well.

We never thought we would have such relationship with him, and it really happened. I just could say by heart: he is the most charming person now!

Still remember when I was in hight school. my senior threee English teacher Paul Shao told us, if we could write something in English everything, as a result, you would go through the enter examination without any resistance. However, the childsih me at that time just believed the words he had said, but never carried it our. If I followed hsi instructiion, maybe now I’m not in SCAU, but in a better university.

Of course, all of this thinking is impossible, when a thing passed, we can’t manage to control it anymore.

Unconsciously, I follow hsi advice now, maybe I have taken it as a priciple that can’t be replased and can’t be canceled. Now, the daily English writing has become a habites of me, no matter what happens.

At that time, I paid no attention to my gammer mistakes, so I am now. At that time,my teacher didn’t focus on that mistakes and the teacher of now dose the same thing. I believe, if I could think out a problem in English, therefore, I will have no that kinds of mistakes anymore, or I just have the mistake that every English speaking coutries’ peoplle have. In a word, if all the people make the same mistake, it means no mitakes exist. The modern people can change the old form fo arammer increasingly, and without paying too much attention to that subtly changes. So, in my opinion, the world is changing in this unconscious way.

And I must carify something that is the reason of my writing. I write this thing is because of nobody. Nobody can compel me to do that. I write it using all my heart. I take responsible for nobody but the future me. I just want to take a note, a note of my growning up, a note of my life, a note of how a ignorance girl becomes a mature one, a note of the chang of my surroundings including my family and the world. And, that’s my style- for nobody.

I am not the God, I’m not the hero of all the people too. I’m just a nobody, a tiny part of the world, you won’t notice me. Or maybe when you someday surf online, and find me out from my blog(website), I will tell you, there’s such a person live in the world, and that the story of her.

Today it’s the last class ob English before its mid examintaion. The teacher paid no attention to that thing as if nothig wouild happen. It’s not sigificance to her at all, I know, but it’s a knot in my stomach instead. The difficulty of presentation has passed, however, another abstruct is coming. Why the road of English is always full of ups and downs!?

The examination effected all the students there, no one can focus themselves in listening her classes. ANd the poor thing was her classes stand still, nothign has been improved. We had gotten so many things from them, and we are changing now, why it stand still.

I have forgotten from what, she talked about New Concept, and she still remembered one of her students read the New Concept all along, and his/her articles wer just like written by foreigners. His/Her  articles were smooth and the joins of two sentences were so perfect. At that time, I thought about myself. I write the diaries in English everyday(just in working days). And now my essays writting in English are so easy to me, without think it in a minutes or two, I can write an essay, and while I wrote it, I can think out the next thing at the same thing. Maybe, I can say I have nothing in my brain, however, I cna write it down while I need to.

Did that student do this? Did he/she write in English everyday? I think not. At the same time, there’s no doulbe of that he/she can think a problem in English unconsciously. And that level , I personaly think, even the teacher can’t do that. That’s why she’s so excited when read the student’s articles. If you want to write an essay in foreigners’ way, you must read a lot which write by them, and at the same time, yiou must try it ou, let the ghouth comine with your real life. The idea in the book just show the author thought, whereas, you must do it yourself, try it out.

I miss the first step, and now I’m doing the step two. I have no time to finish the step one, the fertile, abundant reading means nothing to me, because of time limited.

I have my own style. I write all the things in English, it doesn’t mean I want to show off my poor level. I do it because the limited situation. You lke it or not is your choice, but that’s my own style!!!

The bues didn’t come here meant I had to walk for along time, aybe this tearm or evern this year.

The road is so bad that the bus don’t come here, and the environment is too bad, could I not come here to go on my studying too? No! Never!Mo one will allow me to do that including my soul. But why I must stand this?

The building we can see from the classroom are under construction. The trucks are coming and going, the dust lafll from them are too mamy to count. the road is destroyed by them, in such situation, I have no hope that they will build the road, they won’t have time to mend it, and even they have ment it, they wil aslo destroy it at once. If they really do ti, how foolish they are! If they really do it, how foolish they are! If they really do it, they are throwing the money into fire.

So, as a result, our only hope is our school can do something, however, the leaders pay no attention to it, or even they don’t know there’such a problem exist. When my mother telphoned the hot-line of Wu Shan Apartment, they said they were in university inside, and they didn’t know we had such a problem. They are enjoying their life, no one knows our hoorible situation. EVen our school leaders didn’t know, how other people can take care it, even our mother or father don’t love us, who will do it?

The road between the main part of SCAU and our apartment are full of dust and little hills. The road is ups an downs, though it’s no too long, just 15 minutes we can make it. But why we have to use 15 minutes to do this ugly thing. In fact, we have another convenient way and have right no to do that. However, all the normal ways are cut down. We are isolate, and notbody knows our distress.

The ugly road still leads to here. And the dssbright hop is far away. Why I must suffer such things!!!