我的天

每个星期天都这样子赶来赶去，下午4点多就吃饭，然后5点必须出门口，6：30分之前赶到学生公寓开学院的例会，而星期六晚上则通常要打日记到星期天早上3、4点才睡觉，累啊！然后星期天早上又要10点爬起来去下载。这哪里是休息，比正常的生活还要累啊！还要做作业，还要复习（但通常回到家就不干放一边了，高三时也这样）。

以前星期天晚上是relax看电视的，看英文台，看一个星期才播一次的肥皂剧，然后第二天回去就可以大说特说。但如今，连电视都没得看，哪里谈什么大说特说，况且在这里根本没有看那些东西的人，都是看日韩港台的偶像剧（我从来都不看），我现在不看，以后也一定不看，免得使自己胡思乱想。我认为那些人只有一张俏脸皮，表情语言神态说话都全部非专业，演技当然就XX了。但他们就是“帅”，你吹咩！因此迷倒万千观众。他们的生活，他们的学历，他们的人生目标，他们的台风也十分有问题，他们除了“帅”就什么也没有。可能还有一样他们也许很好的，就是“背书”。我从来不看，一方面因为我看不起他们，另一方面是因为我知道自己的自控能力不好，很容易中招掉入深渊，见一个爱一个，我不要再成为那样的人了。

我不明白为什么JEA的新闻也消失了，所有网站都没有他的新闻，他也累了，需要休息吗？其中用emule下载的那个Anita, no te rajes的网页整个被删除了，怪死了。更奇怪的是我的emule如果搜索就会非法操作，百试百中。可能因为我搜的“Anita, no te rajes”吧。他们好象说这样子下载侵犯版权，所以要删，但为什么其它的又不用了？一个TVvideo的网站只有Anita, no te rajes的网页被删除，太不公平了吧！

发觉自己的日记实在太多，打死自己，于是决定每天只写1.5页，我真的好痛苦，打字就晕死我了，一次打接近3000字，英文的还要先打在Word，修改后再移到笔记本。每个星期都这样子打字，我真的受不了，太累人了。

于是今天回到公寓的时候，这个星期的英文日记没有打在电脑上修改及发表，化学没有做完，毛论没有抄正，数学半题没做，是完全失败的表现。连找那个虚拟语气的表达也是快要出门的时候随手拿了本语法书（英语课本里没找到）。

晚上11：00，我现在好想睡觉。

其实我也不是什么时候都很暴力，我其实也有温柔的时候，比如说我上“红十字会”的培训课的时候。

如果你问我为什么要加入红会，从表面上说，是因为只要红会最终的考试合格就有2个任选学分。对于大一的新生，学分就是命根。更重要的就是我本来就很想学这么一门技能。因为小时侯老摔交（现在不会了），于是就有一种自己学的医疗方法，免得别人把我弄疼。别看我这般模样，其实我怕痛死了。还记得小学的一次严重摔交，就因为处理不得当使得我差不多用了一个月才痊愈，看着伤口在发炎，在流出黄色的液体，我还得自我安慰，那是好的迹象。结果新买回来的双氧水一碰，冒出来的泡泡比火山喷出来的东东还要多，恐怖啊！如果当初处理的好，就不会出现如此恐怖的现象。

然后就是羡慕电视的医疗故事，比如ER，我真的爱死了，还有香港版的《妙手仁心》，那种专业的感觉，我真的很想拥有。记得看过不知什么电视，说如果考核完后有个什么证就可以在正规医院当临工，虽然只是在别人急救的时候打下手，但如能真的身临其境，真帅死了！在这方面我有个天生的优点就是不怕血（因为自己流多了），其次对难看的事物一点都不觉得恶心，比如说呕吐物，又或者死尸之类的，反而觉得很兴奋。

今天是第一堂培训课，学的只是皮毛中的皮毛。什么止血法和一些包扎方法。拿着真正的器材搞来搞去，虽然弄得不好看，有手忙脚乱的嫌疑，但真的很好玩。今天不能完美，就意味着我明天就有进步的机会。现在这些东西看上去好象没用，但人生漫漫，说不定哪一天，它们回派上用场。

下午又去逛超市今天是和，两家都比

便宜，特别是家乐福，如果它特价，没有一家是比它更便宜的，它为什么能这么神呢？

刚刚在电脑上完成了我的设计，原来自己的PHOTOSHOP是这么的“水”，除了第三幅有用PHOTOSHOP以外，其余两幅都只是用windows自配的画图完成。你可以说“杀鸡焉用牛刀”吧。但实际上我是无从下手，当年的学习白费了。我可是超级健忘。别看图片超级简单，做起来也要费工夫啊！！！
    
无论如何，以上3个都是我吐血之作，I won’t forget forever.

原来自己也有温柔的静的一面，其实我的LOGO也不是太差喈！

When I read the lesson "How to Make a Good Impression", I know I have many places to change. To change my action, change my attitude, change my way of speak… All the things I must change, if I want to be a succeeful man. The behavious of mine are so terrible, it means I am not polite, though I am a girl, but it seems I am just a rule man.

The biggest thing I must change is my self-centre thought. It is not exit when I was young, but as I am grown up, the lonely day became more and more, and I didn't communicate with many people. I often stay in a place, keep silence, watch others but having no words to say. Too many time of solitude made my self-centre, because at that time, I didn't need to think about others. The only thing I care is myself.

I say "I" to often! Or you can say I think about myself too often . I often just focus on my own problems. Others' things are none of m business. I complain frequentlky, because of a tiny problem I will complain all day. Because of a cloudy day, because of some meetings, because of money problem, because I don't know how to finish my homework, because… Everday, everytime, everywhere I will complain, no matter who I complain to. Maybe I just moan in a little voice, more often I yell to others. My emotion is so strange, it not only drives myself crazy but also dirives others mad. In fact, I just take serious and I am no good at showing my feeling, so I express my feeling in a volient way, but the poor thing is only my good friends know this. I can control in my heart, but I can't control my actions either, that's my problem.

This horrible habit formed when I was in middle school, because of an unforgetable basketball match. In that match my class lost, but we couldn't stand the fact, we cried and started my first complain. From then on, my complains are just like the water in Changjiang River, can't stop, and became more and more frequently.

I have two pole of my emotion: silence and complain. I think I can change this situation, but I won't. The environment stay still, how cna I change myself?

The social won't let my naughty, and I don't want to be the strangest one. The own style of life is good, but if it's too many, it means naughty or cant't be liked. Hope I can change, it's the right time for me to change.

Today, I can’t go home, it’s just the beginning of my bad luck. Because of the exercise of the Red Cross tomorrow morning, so every other week, I must stay in Wushan Apartment to spend the unwilling night.

At first, we were going to eat sweetmeat in Frenach, but when we got there, there had be so many people, the restaurant is carrying that you the sweetmeat buffet dinner 18 Yuan per person. The first aim we missed. We didn’t know where to eat or eating what. Then we went to the old place-DHR to have our supper. Still remembered it’s the first place we had our supper, at that time we also didn’t know where to eat or eating what. We had the same situation, the same choice and the same feeling. It just like we are having a circle action.

After supper, we also went to PARKNSHOP to have our shopping. We had no plan when we got there, but after we saw the things, we began to lose our control, picked up this one, and then that one… The result was all of their wallets lose their weight. Though in this situation, I had good self-control, yet as they bought so much, I didn’t bought a little, it maybe seemed I was too stint. I had no choice but buying something too.

“无事出街少破财”，“眼不见为干净”看不见就不用买，不用买就不用心痛，虽然买的时候很高兴，但看到自己的帐加起来的那个数字，心里就很不顺。看来我真的太吝啬了，但一个月400块全包，我不吝啬，难道叫我月月都用老本吗？如果我是在外省读书，我的生活费会只有400吗？外省有像广州这样容易花钱的地方吗？外省我会那么熟悉吗？外省我可以经常回家只花3元吗？一切事物都有他的两面性，好，不好，由你自己决定，是十分主观的问题。

今天的班服再次投票，我的那个反应很臭，因为我的设计只是一个徽标，如果就那样一个东西在衣服正面，当然100%单调，无奈不可与别人的设计混在一起。开头的时候，的确对自己的东西不自信，但我越来越觉得我会为它自豪。我的亲生骨肉，我能不爱它吗？无论美丑，都是经过一番努力的成果，我可以不珍惜吗？我能不为自己的亲生骨肉自豪吗？相处久了，发觉自己越来越爱它。这叫不叫日久生情？正如同学的建议，如果在外面加一圈文字说明更完美，更像一个专业的标志，我真的爱四它了。于是就改成了下图：

我真的越来越爱我的“S形唱歌仔”了！

破财算得了什么，心有所属，不怕孤独，我有我个“唱歌仔”陪我，我什么都不怕！

It is a good thing or not? The P.E. classes today didn't need to test our 800-metre race, and today we just practiced and the next week is really our test. Do not have to run right now, it's a good thing, but I have to be afraid for one more week, and the feeling will be terrible the same, in this side, is it good?

We run 3 rounds today, it meant we had run 1200 meters. The feeling was not so bad, at first, we run very slowly, and the secondly, I thought run two rounds looked like better than run 4 rounds (if it's 200 meters per round). I could feel the breath was OK, or you could say it's very comfortable. Though I had run 1200 meters, but I was still here. I still could feel myself, I hadn't die. The tennis teacher asked us to run 1200 meters in this speed every other day until the test. I really want to, this time I feel jogging is not so bad, if I have some music, which will be better. But in fact, I won't do it, because of no playground, because of I don't want to get up so early, because, because, because… So many because. After today's practicing, I am not so afraid as I used to be.

真的觉得这个网球老师有很多话要说，很humor，每次下课几乎都要拖堂，都在讲一些医疗知识或他的亲身经历。有时在上课时说，有时在快下课时说，体育老师能有这种水平已经很不错了。上一次说他得了什么全身痛的病，北医的医生找不出原因，最后是被他爸治好了。再上一次说他见过他的标枪老师被“烤全羊”——腿被标枪穿透，变成残废的故事，这次就说他爬树看电影几乎摔死的故事。同时又针对快要跑800，教一些注意事项和对跑完后晕厥的处理办法。

为什么大学的体育课达标没有“实心球”呢？这么100%的项目它不考，考什么800米，臭死了。虽然标准已降低为4分10秒为达标，但心理还是不平衡。

今天又开班会，投票那些班服设计。我的那个反应也不错，最后可不可以成为现实还要经过很多风风雨雨。自己的设计被认同，原来感觉是这样，当然，这也是第一个完全由我自己设计的标志。

“塞翁失马，焉知非福”，800米没跑，好事？坏事？