我的天

Can you believe how bad luck I was today? I hurt many times in a day.

At the very beginning, it's not so bad. The chemistry classes I could hear very earnest, because I had finished all the chemistry homework, can you believe it almost cost me "6 or 7 hours"! How I would not know the subject very well. All the things the teacher said I was very clear. I knew what did her mean. For a long time, I knew the chemistry lessons clearly again. It's so great! If I were clear at the very beginning maybe I wouldn't have do my homework so painful.

The English classes were also very happy. The Viewing, Listening& Speaking classes, I was enjoying all the time. Because I had preview very well, and the new words were not very difficult, and the topic was convenient to me. I found the teacher stare at me for several times. The reasons were that I was the only one who answered her questions. Others kept silent, I didn't know whether they knew or not. I could make teacher notice me, that feeling was so good.

The physical pain began in the P.E. classes. Today was tennis test day. The content of the test was one person stood at the half of playground and threw the balls to the other who stood at the bottom line (the person was testing); she must beat the ball to the "good area" at the other side. And she must beat six ball continually, so she would pass, but it didn't mean she had got a good mark, it just show she was up to the minimum standard. My partner was the people who had test in front of me, so I first threw the balls for her. (I must throw 10 balls; the fourth at the beginning were just for practice.)

And when I finished throwing and went back to carry my pat to start my test. I hit at a rotor of a pillar heavily on my leg. It's so painful, because I run again it in a high speed, but I had to start my test. So bad luck I was. In this situation, I started my test. At that time, I felt nothing, maybe I was too enjoying. But the bad luck just started. I couldn't see the bottom line at the other side, because the sun was shining so brightly. And the only thing I remembered was that I beat my ninth ball very far away. I didn't have confident to check my mark. In my opinion, it's so poor. After that I continued my practice. At end of the P.E. classes, the teacher scolded at all of us, he said we could do better, but we didn't, so we must have our test again next week. Although I had pass, I got the second in the 40 people class, despite I must have my test again.

My leg used to be very thick, and "today's hit" made it became much thicker, and a bruise came out, though it was abnormality for me to have a bruise. That's the cost of getting the second place. I have never hurt myself for a long time.

Why me? So bad luck today! Why me! Though I had passed, yet I paid a pain for it, I don't think it's worthy.

从前的日子总是家长、学校逼学生，你别无选择，每天天未亮就出门口，天黑都没回到家。一天7-8节课，每节40分钟，间断为10分钟，什么时候吃早餐，午餐，午觉都被限得死死的。没有半点自由可言，日复一日相同的事，但从前的我却没有产生任何的抗拒，也没有烦厌的感觉，因为我别无选择。因为我当时太childish？不成熟？没有为自己着想？还是因为我根本没有为自己着想的时间？

如今我有上午10：00才开始上的课，我可以8点多甚至9点才起床，但为什么我那么多怨言？对老师我以前是无欲无求，但如今我则诸多挑剔，因为老师一点点的误差，我会耿耿于怀。因为当时教我的只是普通师范出来的大专生？而如今则是来自五湖四海，经过过五关斩六将而幸存的“高材”研究生甚至教授？不对他们严格对谁严格？他们也有如此多的“问题”如何叫我们完美啊！

毛论的课真的是越来越“非洲和尚——黑人‘僧’”。听到毛XX我就不想听下去了。对毛XX本来就不喜欢，还要接受一大堆他的东西，真的顶不顺。以前都觉得挺有趣的东西都变得平淡无味甚至觉得讨厌，看见就心烦。不知是教材编排得太烂了还是别的，反正一点都吸引不了我。我心烦得死，况且今天的电脑也坏了，于是老师就用他那“一点儿”的声音，写着他那“一丁点”的字讲课，我半句没听，一直在用心记英语单词。以前我最不喜欢就是记单词，看了就悃，但如今我则很有兴趣，特别看着一大堆的单词会令我联想到很多很多。时间真的可以彻底地改变一个人。一个人的兴趣，一个人的情绪，一个人的理想，一个人的心境……太多太多……

Time will go on, a lot change completely, but some never fade. The true  love, love friends, love relatives and maybe love partner. I can’t forget the beautiful or painful things happened in the pass. Though the sun and moon rise and down, the memory in the old place as they used to  be. They don’t like all the media will disappear because of all kinds of unthinkable reasons. It makes me think about a song “友共情”——时光可变，世界可变，人情亦许多都变迁，友共情，不变，那种真找不到缺点；你我再次相见， 随年和月身心虽耗损，友共情难扭转，心内那热暖还是纯真，未变……

一首小学时代的歌，我依然深深的留在心中，只要是对的，我会坚持直到永远。一个无心向学的学生写下了一篇“回忆”的呼唤。

化学一向都是像被我玩弄在手中般容易的，用很少时间就可以把它轻易搞定，比数学好多了，一向是我娱乐的工作。但如今，我再也不感轻视它了，它要了我的命。

从来没有一课理科可以让我连续做作业4、5个小时，即使是高难度的数学也从没有过，但今天的化学，它做到了。从下午放学回到宿舍5：00开始直到现在晚上11：30，我都没有把无机与分析化学区区26题做完。除了吃饭洗澡洗衣服，其余时间一直在努力，我的天！还有6题，不是我不认真，我实在没法做下去，根本不会做。书上的例题仿佛再也没有参考利用的价值，把书都翻来翻去n mol遍了，问题仍旧是问题。

我从来就没有做过如此长时间的化学，化学，只是一个小小的化学而已。我完全被它奴隶化了。当然，这也是有原因的，因为连续几天的化学课我几乎都没听，都在迷糊中度过，因为老师说的我根本不明，完全是比天书还要天书的物质。我真不明白为什么我会成这样。以前无论多么困难的课程我都可以应付自如，但如今我做不到。是因为SCAU然后太放松了吗？我自暴自弃？我不知道，也许有一点吧。但我真的半点没想过要放弃我自己啊！

现在真的好堕落，电断了，要点着蜡烛写日记，刚才还因为太着迷把头发烤掉了好一些，幸亏及时发现才不至于整个头都成为火球，一切都因为化学作业！真是非同一般啊！我大不如前了！

一向我认为自己的空间想象能力都是不错的，从小时候的折纸到初中的平面几何，再到高中的立体几何，我几乎没有碰过任何风浪，平步青云，仿佛空间思维给我的只有光荣，别人没想到的，别人不会折的我轻易办到。但如今，我的骄傲却成了我的苦恼。

每次发下来的机械制图作业我都必定有错，看着别人拿5+我却只有5-，加加减减并不重要，重要的是为什么我每次都有这样那样的小毛病，而别人却没有呢？无论我多么认真，检查了多少遍都免不了出现各种各样的小毛病。这次发下来的作业更恐怖，几乎每道题都有小问题，我不是不用心，但问题就是减不掉。5-这个分数我自己看了都觉得内疚，我的作业不值这个分数啊！真想当场挖一个洞钻进去，我没有颜面见如此好心肠的老师啊！我也没有颜面当一个车工的女儿啊！无论先天的遗传和后天的环境都如此优越，而我……

事实证明了作为一个绘图制图人员最重要的不是你有多好的空间思维天分，最重要的是细心和不断的练习。刚开始上机械制图的时候，宿舍里我的作业是最快最好的，她们的思考时间几乎是我的2倍，但如今，我已经没有比较的能力了。因为我的图中有这样那样无法自己挑出的毛病。她们的细心，她们的练习战胜了我的天分，我的经验。实践的理性认识战胜了抽象的空间意念。

这次机械制图课的作业是用A3图纸画一个物件的三视图。由图纸的剪裁到画框写标题栏及画上三视图，一切都要靠自己去做。看着雪白的图纸上出现应有的东西，内心的兴奋无法形容。所有都是规与尺及铅笔的杰作，多么美好啊！在HB与2B的相容之中，形成了井然有序的图，圆圆方方，虚虚实实之中表现了真实的物体，专业的感觉油然而生。

放学下课的时候，人人都好象舍不得离开教室一样，都在那里画啊画啊！连老师都忍不住要离我们而去吃饭。我走的时候，我班还有一堆女生在“努力”。回到宿舍有用了几乎2个小时完成那份巨作，前后加起来几乎3个半小时。但画的时候我一点也不觉痛苦，没有半点饥饿，废寝忘食真的不是那么伟大，也不痛苦。

我已经放了n mol“心机”进这A3三视图，希望它不会让我烦恼anymore。

主观因素我可以改，我可以克服，但客观的问题我就没法改了。

blogbus从今天凌晨12：00开始无法登陆，无论是登入blog观看或进入编辑。所有出现的信息是“too many connets”从凌晨到我离开时，一直没办法编辑。结果是上星期的日记我只有星期六一篇。其它的都很痛苦地打完了，但却没机会放上去。

同样受挫的还有http://www.freegb.net/gbook, Betty la Fea in China和我自己的留言本都没办法登入，看着进度条一点一点地增加到25%就停止并且打出“该页无法打开”的网页，我郁闷啊！不知道是我的机子有问题还是那个留言本网站又collapse了，以前的Betty la Fea in China的留言本已经崩溃一次了，我接受不了这样的现实。以上两个问题都向danzhu提出了，她应该是blog的先驱者，电脑高手，问题应该可以解决。

听说danzhu是blogbus的原始建设者之一，如果只是blogbus自己换全新的系统需要把以前的所有日志的数据都重新上存，这个答案我还可以接受理解，但如果又是我个人的问题永远上不了blogbus了，我真想死。对于Guestbook，她如果发现真的是整个留言本网站又死了，她也会找地方重新开一个，她的专业，我毋庸质疑。

客观问题我想克服也克服不来，还是转向一些快乐的事吧。

Yo soy Betty, la Fea神奇的下载完成了3集，太太伟大了！虽然质量比我预期的差，远远不如新剧Anita, no te rajes，但相比以前断断续续已经很好了。看着熟悉的面孔着装再次出现，我的兴奋无法形容。对着人yelling的Armando，穿得十分难看，发式也特恶心的Betty, 还有性感的Marcella，最后是“假黄毛”……既熟悉又陌生。拿着press ball的Armando，JEA在那里的表情实在太完美了，Armando真的是到现在为止100%是JEA事业的顶峰。下载到的还有Anita, no te rajes的Capítilo4，6，8，40e,45,但这一切我都还来不及一一仔细欣赏。

看来我要有一些缓冲物质保持我正常的上网生活，不可以让小小的客观原因就使我陷入严重瘫痪。要发挥主观能动性，但事实上谈何容易啊！网络人生路，漫长曲折啊！