我的天

可恶到了，极点，eMule的低ID，简直叫人不要活了。

对于其他的中国用户，低ID，咱们还可以商量商量，因为毕竟低ID的是绝大多数，但我要的东西中国没有，一定要上外国服务器，而且外国的种也不多，不到10个，你叫我用低ID怎么做人。已经希望奇迹发生一个星期了，一个星期四天，每天吊网超过10小时（都是晚上通宵），但结果是0KB，真的是十分伤心的结果啊！最悲哀的是及时在搜索的时候看到明明有可用资源，但在我的下载页面却什么都没有，除了清一色的红色，资源为“零”！

好痛苦的经历啊！

今天为了这个问题，特意什么都不管了，到处寻找映射的软件，首先是，绿色的，傻瓜的PortMap1.6

然后发觉即使如此，也是解决不了问题，因为可恶的低ID还是可恶的低ID。于是再次搜索，找到了VNN。搞了一大轮，下载了Launch VNNClientC.exe，经过一大轮，又设置了双网卡，，但原来发现它不是用来把低ID变成高ID的工具，而是用来把低ID和低ID连接，其实这样也未常不可，不过如果这样，那么外国服务器的低ID呢？下面是装了Launch VNNClientC.exe后，eMule启动了Kad的结果：

其实VNN是挺厉害的，下面是它官方网站http://www.vnn.cn/的介绍：
VNN (Virtual Native Network)，中文意思是“虚拟本地网”，是为接入因特网的任意两个机器提供互通的服务。VNN连通了的机器就像处于同一个局域网中一样，即使这些机器都不拥有公网地址，而都是处于私网内。

VNN可以直接在现有的网络上进行部署，不需要更换任何网络设备和终端设备，不需要拥有公网地址，不需要拥有域名，只需要能够访问互联网，就可以使用VNN，并通过她与同样使用了VNN的用户进行极限沟通（如即时消息、文件共享、个人主页、企业Intranet、数据库），唯一的限制就是您网络的接入带宽。

我还没有开过MSN试一下它使我传送文件有什么质的飞跃，不过但看eMule的那些不是全部0的来源，还是有点安慰的。但是恨铁不成钢，下载量还是“零”。时间不等人，如果黄金的下载时刻错过了，就什么都下载不了了，我郁闷啊！眼看外国的种越来越少，我却连他们的来源都看不到，就更不用说下载了。我还能说什么！

其实追踪我成为低ID的原因只有一个，就是我用的长宽的网络结构改变了。显然我以前（一个月前）轻易就可以成为高ID，是可能因为当时我还是在它的公网上的，或者轻易就能到达公网，但显然如今它的网络结构作出了重大调整，我就无端成为悲哀者了。低ID就意味着，以前高ID的时候最高才40多KB/S如今可能就永远是“0”，我不想坐以待毙，但除了这样，我还可以做什么？

我也不想死，但是Windows98, 低ID，即使是用最新的版本eMule v0.46a，再外加端口映射，我还是要死，我不想我的驴子就此“退休”啊！

Maybe, I’m a perfectionist, though till now, I’m not too serious, in my opinion. Sometimes I will take study very serious, it’s more than other things, however, it’s just the superficial phenomenon that others always knew. In fact, I believe, study is important, but my life, my friends, my happy experience are more important than that. For all the thing I take care, I can put study or work at another side at once. However, in here, in SCAU, I couldn’t let them know.

"They feel they have to be all things to all people and do it all perfectly. They think, ‘I should, I must, I have to.’ Good enough is never good enough. Perfectionists cannot dilegate. They get angry that they have to carry it all, and they blow their tops. Then they feel guilty and they start the whole cycle over again."(quote from New Horizon  College English Book2 Unit 7 Section A) 

Am I a kind of that? I also cheer myself up, and don’t give up doing something, does it have any problems? I think, the only thing I must improve is that I should learn how to trust others, I didn’t need to do everything by myself in fact.

It’s 06-01 again, however, I’m no longger a little child. Though it’ s Children’s Day, yet it doesn’t belong to me. I’m a student in university now, why I’m still so childish? Meanwhile, the classmates around me also pay attention to this holiday, just as my situation, they can’t forget this important day in their pass.

We are no longger suitable to this holiday, but our hearts tell us we still very young, we’ll teh little child to our parents forever. I can ‘t believe, I’m 20 years old now (in fact, it still has to wait about 6 months). I have missed my Children’s Day for about 7 years. Since I came to middle school, this day hadn’t belonged to me, it’s just a normal working day. No congratulations, no gift, no surprise, everything passed as they used to be, however, we still believe, it’s ours. In fact, have a heart which is full of childish, isn’t it a good thing?

The day in last year, maybe I was at home. There’s still 6 days, I would have the university entrance examination. I have forgotten how anxious I was at that time. It’s less than a week, just in6 days, I would meet the important challenge in my life. The study of 12 years, now I had a final result. It’s a golden fruit, or just a poor history? No one knew at that time. All the things had be fixed now. However, the enthusiasm stand still. Now, I almost feel I’m the xrspook one year ago, but as time goes by, I lose my ability of answering the test paper, and the good friends at that time are far from me. They don’t comprehand, we had seperated her and there.

No matter what I though, I’m no longger the student who has to face teh hell test in Senior Three. I’m just a passerby, a year ago, I went through it, now it’s their turns. I can’t step into the same river twice.

Maybe, I have to know how to flow as. I can’t live in the history, I can’t dream all the time, because the more exciting future is waiting for me to design.