Absolutely Desperate
This afternoon, I was absolutely desperate after consulted with a teacher. She pulled down almost all we had done before, in her professional opinion, we are wrong from the very beginning, and we should not have such idea that she thought its idealism. We just senior, have three years experience in university, and just met microbes less than two years, yet she are almost or already together with that thing more than thirty years. The plan of us didn’t hold water in front of her, but it doesn’t mean we never clearly think about it before, instead, I did spent plenty of time, many sleepless night to polish our plan. If I have never hard working before, I won’t so desperate now. It seemed she had destroyed everything – our plan and my heart.
There’s nothing wrong with her, so my tutor, and even me, yet it must be some gray area among us. I was so stupid that I could not persuade her to accept my idea. I’m not wrong totally, however, the qualitative thought of her dominated many things, unless I took out some evidence to proof myself. She said I confused her, so she couldn’t understand what I really what to do. I was also astonish when we began our topic because all the process just liked we lose faces on our own initiative. Nobody would expect this terrible thing. Beyond all doubt, I was the absolutely loser of this meeting.
On my way home, I soliloquized all the time, sometimes singing, or talking, fortunately, there were rarely people on the road. After about two hour, I calmed down at last. I don’t like make anything excuse for myself, I confessed our plan really had shorts, and I have tried my best to overcome it, but no resulted, we had to lay it down. I felt a little innocent, even the experienced professional couldn’t give us any advice, and how we green hand could solve it perfectly by ourselves? The microbial teachers in college are professionals in their fields, maybe good at bacteria, yeast or actinomyces and so on. Unite them together, it must be a strong team, however, there are also blank areas among them. I just fell in to that helpless place, one of them thought another knew much about something, but in fact another was not so omnipotence in that field. Oh, what should I do?
Sometimes I feel I’m a homeless child, don’t belong to here and there, and was alone all the time. Yesterdays, I learnt a new word – extraterrestrial, you could explain in a very simple word – alien. The student cross subjects are very difficult.
I’m just an ordinary man could do ordinary thing, thus it is necessary for me to have a breath and dream. As the custom of xrspook, I won’t give up, even after a really huge strike. There must be a way, and the hope is out there.
My tutor and my teammates, we should trust each other, I believe there must be a way out.
